The Muffin Story

In my family (as in most families, I suspect), some stories get told and retold so often that it is no longer necessary to recount the story to one another.  All that needs saying is "The Margarine Story" and everyone knows about the hobo in Tampa back during the Depression who thought that a tub of margarine sitting on my grandmother's counter was a bowl of pudding, and tried to eat it.  (Of course, details of this story vary, depending on which of my father's siblings is retelling it.)  And so it is with The Muffin Story.  The main characters of this one are my sister and me.

Back when I was a boy (probably 8 or 9), my sister Carol, who is three years older than I am, was learning to cook in her 4-H club.  Now, I adored my big sister (still do, as a matter of fact), and I was always wanting to do exactly what she did.  Naturally, this behavior drove her crazy, and so she would try to boss me around, as big sisters are wont to do.

Well, since Carol was learning to cook, I wanted to learn to cook, too.  And one day Mom said she was going to make some muffins, and I pestered her until she agreed to let me make them (with her supervision, of course).

Carol was livid.  "But MOOOOMMMM," she wailed, "Boys aren't supposed to cook, girls are supposed to cook."  And to me, she said, "You can't cook!  You don't know how!  Boys can't cook!"

But Mom let me make the muffins anyway.  We used the stand mixer, put in all the ingredients, filled the muffin tins, and popped them into the oven.  And then Mom sent me outside to do my regular boy's chore, which was mowing the lawn.

Twenty minutes later, Carol came marching out of the house to where I was mowing, with a hot muffin in hand, broken in two.  She showed me the muffin.  "You see?" she said triumphantly.  "I told you you couldn't cook!  Your muffins have air tunnels!"  And she turned on her heel, and flounced back into the house, vindicated.

Nowadays, of course, my muffins never have air tunnels.  That is because, despite Carol's objections, I continued to learn to cook, and now I know that the secret to a tender muffin without air tunnels is to never use a mixer, but instead to mix the wet and dry ingredients together separately at first, and then to combine them by hand just until all the dry ingredients are moistened.  Smooth batter is the enemy of good muffins.

Here is my recipe for apple-carrot-oatmeal muffins.

Apple-CarrotCarol-Oatmeal Muffins

3/4 cup all-purpose flour (you could use part whole-wheat flour as a healthier alternative)
1/4 cup quick oats
1/8 cup kasha*
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp spices (either cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice, or a combination)
1/4 cup raisins (optional)
1 medium apple, peeled, cored, and diced
1 medium carrot, grated
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/2 cup milk

*Kasha is toasted buckwheat groats.  I buy it in bulk at the local health food store.  It adds a delicious nuttiness to the muffins.  If you can't find kasha, you could always use wheat germ.

Preheat the oven to 425°.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, oatmeal, kasha, baking powder, salt, and spices (and raisins, if you are using them).  Mix together until well blended.

In another smaller mixing bowl, beat the egg, and then add the vegetable oil, milk, apple, and carrots.  Mix together until well blended.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients all at once.  With a large spoon or rubber scraper, mix the wet and dry ingredients together just until all the dry ingredients are moistened.  Do not overmix, or you will get air tunnels, and your big sister will yell at you.

Pour into greased muffin tins (or muffin papers) and bake for 20 minutes.  They're best served piping hot, but they're awfully good left over, too.

Makes 6 large muffins.

Here's a picture of Carol and me, all grown up, taken 5 years ago in Alaska.